Three months have gone by since my last post. Which I wrote on my way to Nashville for spring break. I was heading to Nashville to interview for an internship with eXile international and check out the city I would hopefully be living in this summer....
Well, it's officially more than three months later, and I am living an adventure so incredible I couldn't have even imagined it. Let's see if I can break this down...
I'm living on my own for the first time in my 20 years of life. In a city I moved to without knowing a single soul. Away from all of my friends and family. I don't say this to sound dramatic. It was honestly a big step for me. Out of my comfort zone. Away from my safe little bubble. Living in Nashville on my own means I have to develop an independence I've never had to own before. A sense of comfort in being alone. An appreciation for enjoying the company of just myself.
You see, I'm a very dependent person. A huge people person. And my friends are my life. I constantly surround myself with close friends who I do everything with and talk about everything with. I don't make decisions without consulting all of them first. Asking everyone for their opinions and advice. I don't do life alone well. Not that I think we were meant to do life alone, because we definitely weren't. We were designed to live in relationship with each other for a very important reason. Relationships are what make life worth living. But, there comes a time when we all need to learn how to be in healthy relationship with ourselves.
This is exactly what I'm doing this summer. Learning how to love myself. Which is so important, given that we can never truly love another human being if we don't first understand and love ourselves. I'm learning how to be comfortable in an apartment with only the company of a book. Or a journal. Or God. I'm learning how to make important decisions on my own. How to give myself the distance I need from unhealthy relationships. How to step outside of what is known and comfortable and experiment with what is new, exciting, and a little scary.
I'm learning how to love uncertainty. And coming from someone who plans out every moment of every day in multiple to do lists, that is pretty huge. It's helping me to accept that God's timing is not my own, but so much better. So perfect. And so worth waiting for.
I'm learning that there is beauty in not knowing. Possibility in an undefined future. Strength in waiting.
Let's just say this is a summer of personal growth for me. Sounds cheesy, but I really think everyone should take times like these throughout their life. Times of rest and reflection. Times of just being in relationship with yourself. Think about it...if we don't give ourselves a healthy amount of attention and love, how can we expect others to? If we don't treat ourselves with respect and kindness, how can we expect those we are in relationship with to treat us well?
It all starts with us.
I for one am tired of being in selfish, manipulative, and destructive relationships. I'm done chasing after those who don't treat me well. But that in itself is not enough. I know, because I have said that a million times and then entered another messed up, unhealthy relationship. Rather than just telling myself that's not what I deserve and so I'm done with that, I have to instead show myself what I do deserve in a relationship. By taking some time to be in relationship with myself in a healthy way. To get a better understanding of who I am and what I need.
This summer is also an incredible adventure for me because I have been given the opportunity to intern for eXile international, a nonprofit organization with a beautiful heart for the traumatized children in war-torn Africa. eXile does expressive trauma therapy with former child soldiers and war-affected children in Uganda, Congo, and Southern Sudan. They bring hope, love, and healing to the most traumatized hearts in the world so that these children can grow up to be soldiers of peace rather than soldiers of war. So that they can become their nations' leaders.
It has truly been the perfect summer internship for me so far. I have a huge heart for Africa. And a passion for working with the broken and traumatized. And I love working with kids, because their hearts are so precious and they are truly the hope for our world. My heart and passion align almost perfectly with the work that eXile does. And as if that wasn't enough, their current needs happen to match my skills. As executive intern I get to do a lot of organizational work and writing. And if I had to pick two of my strongest skills, they would be organizing. And writing. It's also a really flexible internship, and I get to work from coffee shops all week. Which I love! Because coffee shops are such a peaceful, but busy and people-filled environment. There's something about the dual atmosphere of a coffeeshop that keeps me calm but focused. And as a result, I do some of my best thinking in coffee shops.
As if all of this isn't enough, I was also beyond blessed to travel with the eXile team to Uganda for two weeks. That's right, I got to go back to Africa. My favorite continent. Where I had already left my heart twice. For the third visit in two years. Blessed? I think so!
While we were there, we visited three displacement camps in Gulu and spent a week at Village of Hope Orphanage. We did art therapy, sports therapy, peace education, and EMDR with former child soldiers for the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). We worked the most traumatized of hearts. Children who were abducted from their homes. Children who were forced to kill their parents, siblings, and friends. Children trained to fight. Children who were raped. Young girls who gave birth in the bush. Children who have lost their parents to the war. Children who have no homes to return to. Children who lost their childhoods to the true evil of Joseph Kony and the LRA.
Now, to write about this trip will take many blog posts. But don't worry, they are on their way! There are lots of stories of strong children with beautiful hearts that I must share with you. These stories show true resilience in the face of suffering. True faith in the Lord. They are stories that have to be shared. Because the voices of these children deserve to be heard. The LRA might have tried to silence them. But that will never happen. These children are not nameless. They are not faceless. They are not storyless. And so, I will share their names, show their pictures, and tell their stories. Again. And again. Until the world hears their heartcry. And does something about the war that has been going on for almost 25 years.
If you read my blog, I ask that you read the next few posts about Africa and these children with your hearts open. Imagine these children telling you their stories themselves. Imagine them standing in front of you asking for your help. Pray for them. Share their stories with your friends and family. They deserve to be heard by everyone. They deserve to be known by all. I also ask that you take a little bit of time to research the war in Northern Uganda, Congo, and Southern Sudan. Read a little bit about Joseph Kony and the LRA. Educate yourself on the destruction that has been going on in East Africa. We can't help if we don't know what is happening. And if we truly know the devastation, we can't ignore it any longer. Then, if you want to get involved, look up Invisible Children and Resolve Uganda, two organizations that have been working really hard to educate the public and advocate for action by our government.
These are real children. With real names. Real faces. And real stories.
See them.
Hear them.
Help them.
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