"Where are You in all of this?"

After my trip to Uganda, I found myself asking God, "Where are you in all of this? Where are you in the suffering of Northern Uganda? Where were you in this war? In the evil that is the LRA? Where are you in everything I saw? In the stories the children told me? Show me where you are in all of this, Lord. Please."

I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. That chance doesn't really exist. That good always comes out of the bad. that important lessons are learned from the mistakes we make. that life happens in a purposeful way.

But I'm having trouble accepting my theory right now. After seeing the suffering and destruction caused by the LRA in Northern Uganda. I can't agree with my previous opinion--that God plans everything out. That He knows what will happen before it happens. Because He planned it that way.

Because that would mean God created this war in Uganda. That He purposefully allowed the LRA to abduct thousands of children in Northern Uganda to be their soldiers and sex slaves. That He knew Joseph Kony would be responsible for all of these deaths, but He didn't stop him from doing it all. That He knew he would force children to kill their parents and boil and eat their flesh. That he would force abducted girls to be "wives" to higher ranked male soldiers. That girls would be raped as young as three years old, and become mothers as young as ten or twelve, when they themselves are still children. That a huge percent of Northern Ugandans would become displaced, their villages destroyed and houses burnt down. That thousands of children would be orphaned. And that kids would be forced to become brainwashed killers.

If He knew all of that before it happened, why would He have let it take place? If everything is part of God's plan, why would He create this suffering and mass destruction?

That's not something my God would do. My god SAVES. RESCUES. REDEEMS.

And yes, there are good things that have come out of Northern Uganda's suffering. There is a strength in the orphaned and displaced children I met that is indescribable. Hope that is immeasurable. Faith incomparable. And praise and joy in the Lord that is unimaginable considering all they have been through. Their suffering has brought them to desperation for the Lord, and has caused them to be more dedicated and on fire for Him than I have ever witnessed. These children dream of peace in Uganda. And they are determined to grow up and create it. To bring peace, love, and hope to their communities. To their nation. To their region.

These are obviously positive outcomes. What could be better than coming to know, depend on, and love the Lord so deeply? They may be orphaned, but they have their heavenly Father and have a relationship with Him unlike anybody's relationship with their earthly fathers.

But I can't believe that God planned for this war to  happen. For these children to be abducted and forced to fight and cause destruction...just so these positive outcomes would occur.

Instead, I've decided there must be some things God can't control. Sometimes...evil happens. We live in a fallen world, and we have free will as human beings. Though we are all tempted by evil, only a few people succumb to it at the drastic level that Joseph Kony has. God didn't create Kony to start a war that would devastate Uganda and Congo. This war was not His plan for Eastern Africa.

But that doesn't mean our God leaves destruction after pure evil causes it.

No.

Our God redeems.

I've realized that's the key to understanding how God mixes with all this suffering, or where He is in the middle of it all. He's a redeemer. He doesn't plan evil things to happen to us. Like natural disasters, wars, and accidents that cause death and destruction. But He is right there in the middle of it. Doing everything He can to build, mold, and strengthen us. To make good out of evil. To transform hardship into strength and growth.

Evil does exist in this fallen world. And as humans, we have the free will to succumb to it. That doesn't mean God plans for us to or wants us to. I'm sure it absolutely breaks His heart every time He watches one of His children fall to Satan. And I'm sure it kills Him to watch the ripple of suffering it causes for others. For the world as a whole.

But for the first time, I think I understand the answer to the question most nonbelievers struggle with--If there's a God, why is there so much suffering in the world? Where is God in all of this?

He's not causing the suffering. Or planning it out. Just so a few good things come out of it. Maybe the small hardships we go through, such as breakups or disappointments. But not the big things. Like war and natural disasters. Those are brought about by the evil that truly exists in this world. But where is God?

Redeeming.

Taking our suffering and pain and transforming it into growth and strength. Shaping us. Growing us. Molding us. Recreating us to be more like Him.

He redeems.

Thank you Africa, for reminding me of the true heart of our God. That He is a redeemer. And for teaching me how to answer that all too common question we all get asked by those who have trouble believing.

Evil exists. There is nothing we can do about that. But if we let Him, we have a God who will turn our every disaster, devastation, pain, and suffering into beauty. Strength. Growth. No matter how deep the wound or how massive the destruction...

Our...

God...

REDEEMS.