Tree of Yellow Hearts

A tree of yellow hearts. Placed perfectly in my view from this resting place. The yellow leaves are brighter this morning. Glistening as they're pattered with drops of rain. Only a few remain on the once crowded tree. Holding on tightly as Autumn comes to a close.

Now that most of the tree is empty, their true shape is revealed. Once overlapping in big piles of yellow, each leaf now hangs independently from a branch. Drawing your eyes to the distinct outline of a heart.

In front of me stands a tree of yellow hearts. And I can't help but think that God created it in this moment just for me. My favorite color, my favorite image, and my  two favorite parts of nature, all wrapped into this one beautiful display of His unfailing love for me.

Fall leaves inspire me.
Rain drops sooth and refresh me.
Hearts speak to me.
Yellow brings me the purest joy.

This morning as I sit on my balcony, sipping coffee and centering my mind and heart, God is reminding me that He is here. He loves me unconditionally. He knows me intimately. He's pursuing me passionately. And He'll never stop. Because He is and will always be here.

Thank you for wooing me. Romancing me. Knowing me so intimately and yet still moving toward rather than away from me.

You are the lover of my soul. Thank you for loving me so well. For showing me how I deserve to be loved, romanced, and pursued. Thank you for reminding me of my worth, which comes from my only identity in You.

All through the simple, magical, breathtaking gift of this tree of yellow hearts.

Psalm 33: 4-5: "For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love."

Words from The Creator

Did you know you are creative?

No, really. You are a creative. You are an artist. Writing is an art. A fine art. A creative art.

You see, I am The Creator. And I created you in My image. And that makes you creative. Creativity is in your DNA. You were designed in the image of The Creator of the Universe. Therefore, you were created...to create.

And guess what?

Writing is art. Writing is creating. If you are a writer, you are an artist and creative. Here's why...

Yes, part of my creation is visual. Just like you think of "arts" as the visual arts, like painting, drawing, and photography, most people in this world think of My creation as what they see. The colors of the fall leaves. The way the sky kisses the mountain tops. The power of the sunset. Meadows, birds, beaches, and all sorts of beautiful majesty.

Yes, that is all My creation. All that you see was put there and designed by Me. Including you.

But guess what? My creation is not just visual. Sure, I painted that mesmerizing sky and sketched that intricate tree. But I also wrote the greatest story of all time. And I am still writing it...through each of you.

I am a writer. My creation is also a story. And my story is just as beautiful as what you see in the natural beauty surrounding you.

Words are art.
Story is creative.
Writers are artists and creators.
Just like Me.

When you write, you bring story and words to life with the creativity I blessed you with.

You, my child, are an artist. A wonderfully talented and creative...artist.

Your words are beautiful ART.

Destiny

DESTINY. It's an intimidating word isn't it? Stark and defining. Sounds like it should be spoken in a deep voice and echo off the walls. DESTINY.

It's daunting. Uncertain. Both terrifying and exhilarating. Its what every cell of our being hopes to achieve. Where we long to be. And what we don't dare to dream for ourselves. All that could be and all that we aren't bold enough to even consider possible. It's our calling. Our purpose on this planet. That one thing we were uniquely created for. And that one thing we'll be remembered for when we leave. We long for it. We anticipate its coming, or our getting there. We're chomping at the bits to begin it. Wondering why it's taking so long to initiate. And yet, it's always out there. Somewhere distant in the future. Unattainable...at least for now.

Lately, I've been thinking about destiny. Asking myself what it is I long to do. Daring myself to dream bigger. Allowing myself to boldly imagine what my destiny could be.

And as I search my heart for fiery passions and undefiled dreams, as I begin to see recurring themes in the ideas and thoughts springing up...I find myself asking, what about now? How is what I'm doing now preparing me for that destiny? How will this season get me there? When will I move out of this season and into that destiny? And most importantly...is what I'm doing now moving me toward or away from the destiny I'm daring to dream for myself?

That's the first step. Daring to dream it. Allowing yourself to enter that vulnerable place of letting your heart and mind imagine all they desire to do in this life. It takes guts to say the least. Because we risk disappointment. And we risk what we think is failure, even though it wouldn't be failure since what really matters is that we try. But we also risk transformation. And I think that scares us more than the risk of disappointment or failure. Because as soon as we allow ourselves the room to dream, we eliminate all the rules. Barriers are broken and lines are crossed. Suddenly, our passions are alive and in control. Obligations are no longer an excuse to say no to our destiny. Bills to pay, family to provide for, other people's needs to meet. Those aren't enough to convince us NOT to do what we were created to do anymore.

It's like our brain takes a backseat and our heart grabs the wheel, hits the gas, and speeds off into the horizon. If we're bold enough to dream, thoughts like "I don't have what it takes," "that's for someone else," or "I don't have time for that," disappear in an instant. We are empowered to make it happen. Suddenly, we're unstoppable. A force to be reckoned with. We go all in. One hundred percent dedicated. Mission minded. And we are totally transformed.

I think that's our number one fear. Not that we'll fail or be disappointed by how it turns out. But that we'll abandon all that's preventing us from stepping into our destiny, be empowered by our passions, and actually DO IT. Because if we dare to dream...if we say yes...we will.

But most of us won't. Because we're too afraid of transformation. We don't want to be that radically abandoned to everything else but our deepest desires, strongest passions, and wildest dreams. So we make excuses. And carry on in our average lives. Doing what we feel we have to do. Leaving our very own unique destiny unclaimed. Untouched. Unlived.

We have to dare to dream. And I think that's the first step. But I've also been realizing that what comes next is just as important. We need to intentionally choose to move toward our destiny. We must live intentionally. Constantly taking steps that move toward rather than away from our destiny. Always asking if what we're doing has a purpose directly connected to where we want to be. It doesn't have to look like the end result. At first it may be hard to connect the dots. But our steps need to be moving in that direction. No matter how slowly we take them or how long and indirect the path may seem. If we want our destiny, we must be willing to move toward it.

Baby steps or giant strides. All that matters is that our feet are pointed in the right direction. And when we notice they aren't...when we notice we are stuck in a season that pushes us further backwards rather than forwards or closer to something else but just not closer to that something we've claimed as our life's desire...we must proactively depart, turn away, and reposition ourselves. Aligning with our passions. And letting our heart lead us back on track.

This obviously comes with its challenges, but the next piece is the hardest one for me to grasp.

Your destiny isn't just this faint dot in the distance. Its also now. Because its about the journey. Each season, no matter how long, trying, or seemingly unimportant is part of your destiny. Because it leads you to the next chapter. The next piece of the puzzle that your brain just can't seem to put together. Recently I heard someone say: God cares less about how quickly you reach your destiny than he does about how you get there. It pretty much stopped me in my tracks.

The journey is integral. As valuable as the destination. Preparing, strengthening, and equipping you for what's coming. Growing you into the person you want to be when you get there.

And so it's a balance of allowing yourself to dream all that your soul longs for. Allowing yourself boldness to say, I want this in life. And living intentionally to ensure you constantly move toward rather than away from it. All while embracing and being present in every moment it takes to get there. Simple, right? Conceptually, yeah. Its about as simple as it gets:

1) Dare to dream your destiny.

2) Intentionally move toward it.

3) Embrace the journey along the way.

It's not quite as easy to implement as it is to comprehend. But it's about honoring your passions, practicing intentionality, and learning to be present. All daunting tasks to be sure. But addicting and absolutely transformative once you start. Its your choice. But you have the power to live the very destiny for which God created you. Now and in the future. You simply have to say yes.

And I think we owe it to world, God, and ourselves to do just that. Imagine what this world would look like if each of us did...

An Epidemic of Competitive Suffering

Warning: this is one of those posts where I admit to being completely human. And somewhat of an arrogant ass hole. But hey, honesty is the best policy, right? And I think its safe to say that if you're reading this...you're human, too. Meaning, some days you've got a bit of arrogant ass hole running through your veins, as well.

Yesterday was rough. I felt utterly defeated. Definitely one of those days when you feel like the world is out to get you. Everyone ganging up on you and plotting your revenge. Waiting to see how long it will take before you just give up.

But the sad part is, my day really wasn't that bad. There weren't that many things that went wrong. And the things that did go wrong really weren't that awful. There were even distinct moments when I knew the cards were in my favor. That it could have been MUCH worse. That things were definitely turning around.

And yet, I was stuck in that place. That dark, seriously embarrassing, woe is me, my life is terrible...place.

It took everything in me not to burst out crying in public. I spent hours fighting back what seemed like liters of tears. My eyes were glossed over with water that was ready to pour uncontrollably at any second.

But why? Why was my day, my life so terrible? If anyone were to actually compare the blessings and unfortunate circumstances of my day, the first would undoubtedly outweigh the second. Hands down. Ten...twenty fold.

So why then do we get so caught up in the negative? Even though its such a tiny percentage of our reality?

It's addictive once you start. You get stuck in a cycle of complaint and pessimism. Not only is the glass half empty, but it's half empty of water when you'd really prefer it full of wine. Quickly you become certain that you're "suffering" far more than you "deserve." And instead of recognizing those inescapable instances of luck, you prefer to leave those unacknowledged and draw your own (and the world's) attention to the teeny, tiny misfortune's you've stumbled upon. As if it gives you more credit, authority, or clout. Even though you know its wrong, you want other people to notice and commend you for your perseverance as you take the "hardship."

If we're honest...we've all been there. You may be saying no inside, but come on. You're human just like me. And though this is an ugly place, we've all found ourselves there. So caught up in it we don't even realize how disgustingly selfish we're being. But, let's be real...we've all been there.

In school, its who got the least sleep last night studying for that big exam. Or who has the most papers due on that dreadful week after holiday break. In work its who got stuck with the crappiest assignments, has the longest to-do list, or had to stay at the office the latest. For moms its who has the most responsibilities of room-mom, soccer snack duty, and school field trip chaperon. For young adults, its who is struggling the most to pay their bills or working the farthest away from their dream job. Even with friends its who has the meanest boss, the least supportive family, or the worst heartbreak story.

As if all these "hardships" give us social capital or something.

Why do we compete for the title of suffering? I mean comparatively its not all that terrible in the first place.

But what is it about humans...or Americans...that makes being the unluckiest person so desirable?

There's all sorts of possibilities, but I'm gonna make a few guesses...

What if its the discomfort that comes with being blessed? You know that feeling of guilt for having it better than others. Perhaps that emotion is so strong that when life even resembles rough, we jump on it as an opportunity to identify with the less fortunate? With whom we so often seem drastically separated from. Or more realistically...we jump on the opportunity to separate ourselves from those folks who "have it all." For whom life is "easy." Maybe we are so uncomfortable with the obligation to help others who are less fortunate that we take any opportunity presented to us to separate ourselves from those on which the social obligation falls.

Or maybe we're just desperate for external validation? We're so unsatisfied with who we are and what we're doing in life that we need the approval, and even better, the praise and admiration, of others. And so we assume that focusing on, or more often wallowing in, our misfortune will result in pity from others. Which often verbalizes in the form of praise and admiration. That deep need for external validation that's rooted in lack of self-esteem or confidence. Maybe we just don't see ourselves as valuable, hard working, or good enough. And so we need the confirmation from others, and this is just one of the ways we know how to get it.

Or maybe its just a lack of good old humility? We think of ourselves as so great that we are above encountering adversity. That we are too hard working, excellent, skilled, or valuable to suffer. Our lives are above that misfortune. And so how dare the universe offer us a dose of humility in the form of real life circumstance. Its just not what we deserve.

I'm not sure what it is. Its probably different for every individual. And it could be some combination of these things or something different entirely.

All I know is that it is a horribly contagious epidemic in America. With disgusting symptoms that reflect poorly on who we are and who or what we represent.

And the only answer is humility.

Its not about what we deserve. Its not about what we don't deserve. Life isn't fair and this is a fallen world. We are told upfront that we will encounter trial and adversity. That we will have to struggle, work hard, and fight in this life.

I find it incredibly ironic that the best answer to this tendency, better than any I could come up with, is the exact thing my verse of the day hit on yesterday morning. And rather than absorb and listen to that advice, I reacted horribly, as many flawed humans would, to the circumstances, menial as they were.

1 Peter 5: 6-7 tells us (as beautifully translated by The Message): "So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you."

A small dose of humility may not be the first cure we think of.

But when struggling and in doubt as to why, its a very safe, go-to antibiotic. Flushing the negativity and selfishness out of your system. Cleansing you of your pride and arrogance. And even when you're not suffering, its a bit like Vitamin C. It may not seem crazy powerful. But you can never have too much, and a little bit goes a long way. Maintaining your health and preventing those nasty symptoms from returning.

In this case, humility alters your focus, which has the effect of zooming out on a camera. Your problem is still exactly the same. Still there in full form, firmly planted in reality. But the picture includes much, much more. Shrinking your problem and drawing your attention off yourself and onto your surroundings. AKA: Perspective.

Its only part of the picture. Its real. Important. Valid.

But only a small piece of a much greater reality.

And suddenly, whatever you're walking through isn't more than you can handle. With a small dose of humility, you can keep calm and carry on.