Turning the Page

I’m learning that life is like an adventure story. Divided into countless chapters, the end of each leaving your fingers flipping to the next. Every chapter bringing you more questions than answers. The plot growing more complex. The stakes only rising.

With every new chapter you start, you’re certain you’re going to figure it out this time. Convinced you have the ultimate answer. The perfect path to get to that happy ending. The brilliant plan to get you to the final destination you’ve dreamed. And time after time, you enter into the next chunk of pages only to find your predictions proven wrong by unexpected circumstances causing new twists and turns in the plot.

That may very well be the only predictable part of life: it’s unpredictable nature. And the guarantee that you just won’t get more answers until you take the next step.

Because each chapter doesn’t just precede the next, it creates and shapes it. It’s the characters you meet and the battles you fight and the foreign lands you visit that both allow and lead you to the opportunities, people and places in the next.

Without a single chapter, the entire ending would be changed.

Your story depends on every chapter, paragraph, sentence and word which compose it. Large or small, long or short, seemingly significant or not, every experience in your life shapes you and impacts your journey. Not just in learning some lessons along the way. But in paving a once nonexistent road for you to travel.

I’m nearing the end of a chapter. And like most, it’s turned out to be a lot shorter than I expected. In fact, I was ready for this one to continue for much of my story, and pretty shocked and confused when I realized it wouldn’t. That it wasn’t supposed to. Because there was something else in store for me. Another adventure calling my name. One I never would have heard without living the one I currently am. And just like last time, it’s requiring a huge leap of faith. Because even though I hear the call and recognize my name, I have more questions than answers. I can’t see exactly what it looks like. It’s not at all what I had planned or prepared for. And I have no clue where it ends.

But that’s the reason why we read adventure stories, isn’t it? Why action movies are so exhilarating and hard to turn our eyes from. Not knowing (what will happen, how it will turn out, where you will end up, if you have what it takes) is what makes it an adventure in the first place. And what gives us the energy, thrill and rush.

The uncertainty is liberating. It makes us feel alive. Because we were created to live a life of freedom and whimsy and risk. We are not called to safety. We know this in our spirits, and that’s why we love adventure stories. They strike a chord of deep longing in each of us to live our own.

And if every chapter creates the foundation for the next, then I don’t want to stay in this one longer than I’m meant to. Its only purpose was really to prepare me for the next. To stay would be to settle. To remain stuck on the cold ground instead of flying free into the warm sunrise.

Instead, it’s time for me to turn the page. And step boldly in the direction of my destiny. Intentionally entering the next adventure of my life. Accepting the challenge. Embracing uncertainty. Knowing only that this chapter has created the opportunities that lie before me with purpose and prepared me in all the ways that it could. Understanding that as important as this season was in developing me and shaping my life, the next will be equally transformative.

I’m only a few chapters in. My story is just beginning. And I want to live it in freedom and whimsy until the moment I flip to its final page. An ending I will never experience unless I start the next chapter.

It’s time to say yes to uncertainty. It’s time to turn the page…

And what does that look like? I don’t know exactly. But layer by layer, piece by piece, a picture is evolving and coming into view.

It all started with a silly childhood dream to travel the world. Funny thing about your wildest dreams…they don’t disappear. You might not be able to see it from where you currently stand, but that flame is still flickering in the depths of your heart. You can bury it down and try to replace it, but your biggest dreams are woven into the very fibers of your soul. They have the miraculous ability to stay alive, even when you starve them. And I think it’s because God feeds them for us.

One of the coolest things about following God is that He wants to give you the deepest desires of your heart. The harder you run after Him, the more your spirit aligns with His. Eriwn McManus explains this well:

“Here’s the liberating reality: when you are passionate about God, you can trust your passions. God uses our passions as a compass to guide us. To put it crassly, when you are madly in love with God, you can do whatever you want. I’m convinced this may be the best contemporary translation of Psalm 37:4.”

In this season of uncertainty about my future and my place in the world, one you could probably get away with calling a quarter-life-crisis, there are only a few things I still know I love:

Traveling. Writing. Cooking.

They nourish my soul with energy and inspiration. They fill me with joy and light and life. I am my happiest and most authentic self when I travel, write and cook. Each of these crafts allows me to see deeper into my mind and heart, live more out of my spirit, and look more like the person I was created to be.

When things don’t make sense anymore, you have to go back to what you know. And though it may be very small, it’s the only launch pad for your destiny.

Rather than trying to enter further into a destiny that may never have been designed to be mine, I’m taking a step back, to dive head first into a season of contemplation, exploration, self-discovery, and inspiration. In the single context where my life makes more sense: travel. Because through seeing more of the world, I see, discover, and come to know more of God, and my true self.

So what does turning the page look like this time around?

In July, my dear friend Morgan and I will be leaving Nashville to travel for an extended period of time (a year, maybe more, maybe less.) Leaving behind everything we know to see the world, find creative inspiration, and discover our true selves. But wanting to absorb each experience on this journey, letting them truly shape and transform us, we won’t preselect the destinations to come.

The first stop is Italy, a country I entered a love affair with quite some time ago. And then? Who knows.

To not plan the details of this trip is a huge struggle for someone like me, but I know letting them go to embrace uncertainty is critical for true transformation.

The journey is fast approaching. And though it often seems like a crazy, far-fetched, absurd and ridiculous idea, I can feel it in my bones that an adventure is exactly what I need. Bob Goff’s words express it well:

“I used to think knowing God was like going on a business trip with Him, but now I know He’s inviting me on an adventure instead.”

I’m accepting His invitation.
Saying yes.
And turning the page…