Worship
& Praise
Jubilation
Peace
& Rest
Forgiveness
Grace
& Love
I was able to experience all of that today. At the Woo. I felt a sense of belonging. Was reminded of my Father's incredible and infinite forgiveness and love for me. I experienced community. Sung songs of praise. Clapped my hands and danced with joy. Swayed back and forth in His presence. My soul found its rest. As if I was home.
And I almost missed out on all of that. Because I was too tired...too hungover for church.
With my head pounding and my body aching after a night of celebrating St. Patty's Day, I laid on the floor in front of the tv thinking...
Hell no! There's no way I can walk to church today. No way I can focus on a sermon. Stand long enough to worship. I look like shit. They're all gonna know I partied too hard last night. I'm too embarrassed. Too tired. Too hungover for church.
And then I felt this odd need to just get up and go. I did NOT want to...but I got up. Got dressed. Brushed my teeth. And I went.
And you know what?
No one judged me. No one knew. If they did, they didn't say anything about it. They didn't call me out. As always, the Woo welcomed me with open arms and warm smiles.
And listening to the sermon, I felt God fill me with rest. It wasn't exhausting. It wasn't difficult. It was easy and it was tranquil.
And worship was great. I needed it. The reminder of His love and forgiveness. The feeling of being vulnerable and opening up my heart TO forgiveness. Letting myself accept grace from God. And then turning and offering it back to myself, from myself. Instead of critiquing myself constantly. Criticizing myself over and over again. Focusing on my faults. And not letting it go.
And so this Sunday I learned a valuable lesson. And it had nothing to do with the fact that I should not have drank as much as I did on St. Patrick's Day. No...instead I learned that...
You can never bee too hungover for church. At least not at the Woo. And not in front of a God of love, grace, and forgiveness. It's just not possible.
(again, this is Lucas, I"m not sure how to not show up as Lora)
ReplyDeleteGreat post Jessie! Interestingly, when I used to set up the chairs for our sunday service, I would put single chairs in the back by themselves which I called the "shit-faced chairs", specifically for people that were still shit-faced when they got to church (not that you were shit-faced, just hungover, but it's a related point). These chairs were not off by themselves because I wanted people to feel isolated, but because when I started going back to church while in college, I would come in still messed up - often not having slept yet - and smelling pretty bad (sweating alcohol and all). Thus I would always look for a seat with nobody around. I found that lots of people at The Woo loved these off-to-themselves chairs for numerous reasons, but certainly for the reason of being comfortable in church without worrying about what people around them might think about their appearance. Maybe it would be good to bring these chairs back, but maybe what you're saying is that they're not needed at The Woo. That whatever that fear is that we all sometimes bring to church (including me!, I mean, I was up from midnight till the service working on the talk this Sunday, so I was feeling pretty whacked and hoping my puffy blood shot eyes and oily hair/skin wasn't noticed) is melted away by the very real loving presence of God and a community of folks that don't have judgmental hearts. Wow! What a gift to be a part of this community!